Acting Black

Lego Yankee Stadium

2009-09-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

This is a scale model of Yankee Stadium built completely with Lego. Sean Kenney is a full-time "professional kid" who uses LEGO toys to build anything and everything you can imagine.

For years, his artwork, models, and children's books have inspired kids to create great things themselves.

Using over 45,000 LEGO bricks, a Manhattan gradeschooler and I have built a sculpture of Yankee Stadium over the past three years. It is 6 feet wide and 5 feet long, built to an approximate scale of 1:150.

Interview with Sean

4-minute video from Major League Baseball Entertainment News

Stadium tour (Part 1)

4-minute video from Major League Baseball Entertainment News

Stadium tour (Part 2)

4-minute video from Major League Baseball Entertainment News

Details

The building is built to look as it does to this day, including all of the modifications that were made over the history of the building (above).

The stadium is populated with over 1,700 little "microscale people". (Above)

The scoreboard is made using over 1,000 "light saber" rods, laid on top of each other so that only the round ends are showing.

Can you figure out what all the scoreboard ads are for?

An elevated train line runs alongside the stadium. It has a microscale New York City subway train and lots of traffic and crowds on the street below.

The elevated New York City Subway station behind the stadium. (With MetroCard machines!)

Underneath the elevated train tracks.

Close-ups

The seating behind the dugout opens up to show the Yankee's locker rooms.

"Monument park" (above) includes placards and monuments to famous Yankees players, like Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra, and Lou Gherig.

The invisible man watches the game from the upper deck.

A mime in the park across the street.

Baskeball in the park across the street.

The Simpsons head to the game.

What's this, inside one of the walls? A crazy man with a giant chansaw, aaa, run!!

Hidden behind in a secret compartment inside the stadium walls is The Manager's Throne Room.

Some micro-scale New York City buses and a taxi.

Working on the stadium

For three years, a Manhattan grade schooler and I built the stadium together. We began work in February 2006, working every weekend until it was complete in July 2009. The pictures below were taken during the course of 2006, 2007, and 2008.

Kanye is Crazy. Duh.

2009-09-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

After seeing Kanye's outburst on the Video Music Awards, my first reaction was, "what is this dudes malfunction?" Who acts this way? Why is this ok? Why did people applaud him? After I contemplated for some time I settled on the fact that Kanye is our fault. Correction—ya'll created him, so he's your fault. I have never been a fan. This kat raps about dropping out of college as though that's a viable plan for most people. With all that money, he still can't make a dermatologist appointment? I mean I'm just saying.

All of our celebrity worship has created these monsters. They think anything they say, wear, do, or don't do is fine because their rich and/or famous. Let's be real, the two do not always go hand and hand. We've told them that in order to remain relevant, they have to hop in and out of relationships, make ridiculous public spectacles of themselves, and participate in this ongoing contest to see who can wear the most colors at the same time. Kanye: please help me understand these plastic back to the future 3D glasses that you fancy so much? I'm just saying.

Kanye's action were ignorant, period. If you agree with him, excuse him, or even think it's funny, something is fundamentally wrong with you. People like Kanye need to be sent a message that people cannot behave that way and just get away with it. If he were an athlete he would have been fined and his contract and very livelihood would be in jeopardy. I hope the fool never makes another album and finds himself seeking work at Old Navy. The man is crazy and has proved over the past 8 years or so that he needs to be medicated. What rational person acts this way?

What's most egregious about this, is his outburst wasn't even on his own behalf. He was asserting that Beyoncé Knowles' "Single Ladies" video was the greatest video of all time. Clearly Beyoncé needed Kanye to serve as her advocate because she is starting an destitute. Most shows, the chick wins everything and can barely deliver an acceptance speach. Funny that a video set on a plain green screen background featuring a dance routine from the 1970's qualifies as the greatest ever. Maybe MTV needs to go back to playing music videos so Kanye can get caught up.

Video of Kanye's Outburst

HIV Vaccine Instills 'New Hope'

2009-09-26T06:27:00.000-07:00

By: Marilynn Marchione and Michael Casey, Associated Press

Sept. 24, 2009 -- For the first time, an experimental vaccine has prevented infection with the AIDS virus, a watershed event in the deadly epidemic and a surprising result. Recent failures led many scientists to think such a vaccine might never be possible.

The World Health Organization and the U.N. agency UNAIDS said the results "instilled new hope" in the field of HIV vaccine research.

The vaccine -- a combination of two previously unsuccessful vaccines -- cut the risk of becoming infected with HIV by more than 31 percent in the world's largest AIDS vaccine trial of more than 16,000 volunteers in Thailand, researchers announced Thursday in Bangkok.

Even though the benefit is modest, "it's the first evidence that we could have a safe and effective preventive vaccine," Col. Jerome Kim told The Associated Press. He helped lead the study for the U.S. Army, which sponsored it with the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.

The institute's director, Dr. Anthony Fauci, warned that this is "not the end of the road," but said he was surprised and very pleased by the outcome.

"It gives me cautious optimism about the possibility of improving this result" and developing a more effective AIDS vaccine, Fauci said. "This is something that we can do."

The Thailand Ministry of Public Health conducted the study, which used strains of HIV common in Thailand. Whether such a vaccine would work against other strains in the U.S., Africa or elsewhere in the world is unknown, scientists stressed.

The results proved the skeptics wrong.

"The combination is stronger than each of the individual members," said the Army's Kim, a physician who manages the Army's HIV vaccine program.

New infections occurred in 51 of the 8,197 given vaccine and in 74 of the 8,198 who received dummy shots. That worked out to a 31 percent lower risk of infection for the vaccine group. Two of the infected participants who received the placebo died.

The vaccine had no effect on levels of HIV in the blood for those who did become infected. That had been another goal of the study -- seeing whether the vaccine could limit damage to the immune system and help keep infected people from developing full-blown AIDS.

That result is "one of the most important and intriguing findings of this trial," Fauci said. It suggests that the signs scientists have been using to gauge whether a vaccine was actually giving protection may not be valid.

"It is conceivable that we haven't even identified yet" what really shows immunity, which is both "important and humbling" after decades of vaccine research, Fauci said.

Details of the $105 million study will be given at a vaccine conference in Paris in October.

It is unclear whether vaccine makers will seek to license the two-vaccine combo in Thailand. Before the trial began, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration said other studies would be needed before the vaccine could be considered for U.S. licensing.

Mass-producing the vaccine, plus how to proceed with future studies, will be discussed among the governments, study sponsors and companies involved in the trial, Kim said. Scientists want to know how long protection will last, whether booster shots will be needed, and whether the vaccine helps prevent infection in gay men and injection drug users, since it was tested mostly in heterosexuals in the Thai trial.

The study was done in Thailand because U.S. Army scientists did pivotal research in that country when the AIDS epidemic emerged there, isolating virus strains and providing genetic information on them to vaccine makers. The Thai government also strongly supported the idea of doing the study.

Reactions to CNN'S Black In America 2 VOL: 1

2009-07-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

I must say that I was disappointed by CNN's Black In America 2. When I hear such a loading tittle like Black In America, I'm automatically looking for this loading, all encompassing documentary series that is going to show what it's like to be black in this country. Albeit, the experience has a number of perspectives and vantage points, I feel that we all should be able to see ourselves, hear out story, and be able to "amen" some aspect of the presentation.

This documentary, however, was a presentation of the black image in the white mind. It seemed more like Soledad O'Brien and her producers went through their personal cell phones and Facebook friend list and simply called people they knew so they could throw this show together.

The documentary starts out with a story about comedian Chris Rock’s wife, Malaak Compton-Rock, who heads up a nonprofit called The Angel Rock Project. The project is geared towards at-risk youth in Bushwick and strives to develop the leadership abilities of the youth through global.

The organization had an interview process last year selected 30 youth ambassadors to attend a service trip to Johannesburg, South Africa. The tripe was definitely a great thing for these kids and i am sure it's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for them but I'm concerned that the goal that Mrs. Rock set out to accomplish was not achieved. This service learning trip was a great starting point and catalyst for change, but there was little to no follow up with these kids. There is no way that a child who cannot read, or refuse to do what it takes to do well in school will be a future leader.

The little boy that CNN selected to profile during this segment was so shy, so withdrawn, and his primary focus was basketball. This was a free trip for him. I felt like this segment was simply a free plug for Malaak's charity to make herself feel better at the expense of these kids. There was no follow up with the kids; no accountability.

The segment on the elite black America's was sickening. Elitism, whether it includes or excludes Blacks is elitism. This segment soured the whole program for me. No matter how well the people featured have done for themselves financially, they still have to work for a living. Albeit doctors, judges, and lobbyist, they're working to maintain a lifestyle. The people that the show likened them to have old money don't have to work at all as their wealth is generational. They have more money then they know what to do with! In my opinion, elitism is a negative thing and this segment went against the whole premise of this documentary. Elitism, whether it includes or excludes Blacks is elitism.

I've got more to say but I'm going to have to follow up... In the meantime, I'm re-reading the following..

Transcending the Talented Tenth: Black Leaders and American Intellectuals by Joy James

Black Bourgeoisie: The Book That Brought the Shock of Self-Revelation to Middle-Class Blacks in America by E. Franklin Frazier

Our Kind of People: Inside America's Black Upper Class by Lawrence Otis Graham

Blue-Chip Black: Race, Class, and Status in the New Black Middle Class by Karyn R. Lacy

The Black Image in the White Mind: Media and Race in America by Robert M. Entman

Racism in Pool Controversy

2009-07-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

Many of you may have read, heard, or watch coverage about the Pennsylvania Swim club that reportedly residing their offer to allow a predominately black summer camp access to their facilities citing that the kids were overwhelming and that there "was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club."

In an interview on Radio Times (NPR) with Marty Moss-Coane, Valley Swim Club president, John Duesler said he underestimated the number of swimmers who would come to swim at the club. "It was never our intention to offend anyone," said John Duesler. "This thing has been blown out of proportion." What troubles me is that some very dangerous words were used. Complexion is almost always used in reference to skin tone. Additionally, these people did not offer the use of their facilities out of the goodness of their hearts--there was a contract between Valley Swim Club and The Creative Steps Day Care children -- who are in kindergarten through seventh grade. -- where $1,900 a day was paid for use of the favilities one a week.

I'm sure the director of the camp, Alethea Wright, let the swim club know EXACTLY what they would be dealing with. Children. Why would the club allow this [and three other camps to contract use of their facilies] and not plan to retain an appropriate number of lifeguards, etc? This is a public facility, not a pool at a private residence. These concepts are not new. Wright called it an "unfortunate situation," adding, "I know what happened; the members know what happened and a higher power knows what happened." Watch the club president say racism is not at play »

This type of racism, intended segregation, and then the later backpedaling is nothing new. The club and it's board cited safety as their chief concern in turning these minority children away, but it's interesting that following public outcry of racism, suddenly the pool is welcoming the children back. Hmm... so is the issue of safety no longer an issue, in order to save face? Jeff Wiltse, PhD, author of Contested Waters: A Social History of Swimming Pools in America, and Jim Ellis, subject of the 2007 swimming film, "Pride", provide some really good inside into how swimming has long been a source of racial division. I'd urge you all to check out his book.

I'd urge you to also go to NPR.org and check out today episode of Tell Me More with Michel Martin... really great, objective, insights.

The Cosby's @ 25

2009-05-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

I was pretty pleased to watch The Cosby Show's 25th Anniversary today on The Today Show. The show and I have long had a complicated relationship. I am the only [Black] person I know who enjoys but simply regards the show as just a good TV sitcom.

I have grown accustomed to being around friends, classmates, colleagues, and even family letters who credit Bill Cosby and his "great experiment" with single handedly redefining the Black Family experience the world's perception of it. I've always seen that view as unfortunate, at best, but always kept my mouth shut for fear of being lambasted and accused of being an inauthentic colored.

Personally, I grew up in that house. My neighbors grew up in that house. My classmates grew up in that house. I had, and still have, two parents who love me. I have parents who worked their way through college and waited until they were stable to have children. My parents had educated friends who had children just like me. In the 80's & 90's, my dad [and I] wore, what we now recognize to be hideously ugly sweaters. We lived in a house that had enough rooms to accommodate all the members of the family. I could go on all day, trust me, but my point is simply that Blacks were living normal, well adjusted lives even during the civil rights movement.

I'm personally offended when I hear people suggest that Black People learned how to live in harmony, stay married, love their children, and develop ambition from a 1980's situational comedy. My grand parents did not have the benefit of Heathcliff "Cliff" Huxtable.

The Cosby Show depicts Bill Cosby's life and the cast members on the show. It tells the story he wanted to tell. While I love Bill Cosby, I applaud him for bringing quality, positive stories to television, but not for raising a generation of making Black success more palatable to Whites.

Check out clips from the today's interview with Bill Cosby, Keshia Knight Pulliam, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Phylicia Rashad, Raven-Symoné Pearman, Geoffrey Owens and Earle Hyman The Today Show's Matt Lauer. I assume no one else could make it...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I was a bit troubled by Lauer's comparison of Barack Obama to Heathcliff Huxtable and I am glad the bait wasn't taken. I absolutely loved Malcolm-Jamal Warner & Phylicia Rashad's comments, respectively. I agree wholeheartedly with Rashad that, "We are more alike than we will ever be different and given the opportunity we are willing and wanting to embrace the likeness." Bill, God bless him, tried to real Miss Raven into the show, but comparing Cosby to "That's So Raven" on the Disney Channel? No, no, no. The show undoubtedly helped to change the way Blacks were portrayed on TV, but we have definitely pissed on that with our patronage of BET, TVOne, The Real House Wives of Atlanta, For The Love Of Ray J, Being Bobby Brown, Soul Plane, and the list goes on!

oh this thing called love...

2009-02-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

I've been flooded with emotions all day today. It started early this morning, was intensified one I got to church, and has been sucking the quirky life out of me all day. I am begrudgingly romantic. I hate the mushy stuff, but at the same time just cannot get enough. It's wild. Have you ever been in one of those entanglements [as I am now calling them,] resolved to go your separate ways, but find that every so often something... SOMETHING... something... has this way of seeping into your sensory nodes and taking you back to when things were happier. Day one.. That special birthday.. you all's first time.. just something happier.. That time when you first saw the light. Suddenly, all the bad never happened. The lies were never told. The fights weren't that serious, etc. etc. After all the progress you'd made, the walls you'd erected, you are caught like a deer in headlights.

Today I had a revelation—a pseudo spiritual catharsis. Let's call it a Breakthrough of sorts. Changed my life. ...for today at least.

1. Simply, Love ≠ Happiness.
2. Adore no iguale la felicidad.
3. Lieben Sie gleicht Glück nicht.
4. Aimer n'égale pas le bonheur.

I wanted to make sure I covered all my basses.. you know.. for the full edification of the body. I have friends who are allergic to stuff, but they love it. Despite the reaction, however mild, they calculate the consequences and succumb to their "love" irrespective, of the inevitable side effects. Love is irrational. Love is painful. Love, sometimes is not reciprocated. Seems like Love of typically not appreciated, or understood until things change. Love, unfortunately, often comes to an end. All this said, isn't love grand?

::Listening to: Brandy's Long Distance::

2009 Affirmations, Verse 1

2009-02-02T10:37:00.000-08:00

What a year 2008 was. Please reference earlier entries to paint yourself a picture. I've spent the better part of 2009 hiding out. I am just tired of people and their issues. Surely, we all have them.. but I mean geez. Being a consummate people pleaser, I try to accommodate, excuse, and affirm people's idiosyncrasies. In 2009, it stops. I am just not strong enough to carry the weight of other people's issues coupled with my own.

Age Is More Then Just A Number

2009-01-05T19:55:00.000-08:00

I've spent years smiling at the cliche, "age ain't nothing but a number." As I grow older, I'm starting to realize that it's not. As I inch closer and closer to the big "three-oh" I am less tolerant of youngins. I am even less tolerant of older people who don't have their shit together.

I'm thinking of that lady that we've all worked with. She's been in the office the longest. While she is lowest on the chain on command everyone calls her Mrs. Bernadette because she's older then everyone and just has the heir of oldness about her. Mrs. Bernadette boss is Chad, a 22 year old recent grad of The University of Maryland. Chad holds a degree in Psychology. What stands out about Mrs. Bernadette is that she is 36 but looks and acts like she's 56. She's been with the company for 15 years and while she has the same benefits as everyone else in the office, she hasn't taken advantage of the dental plan, the corporate gym memberships, the 401k, or the educational benefits.

Following 20 years of service, Mrs. Bernadette may be eligible for retirement but she won't be able to as she's saved nothing for the future. After 30 years of service, the only raised she would have received are those given for cost of living raises which will still max her out at $34,500 annually. After 30 years, Mrs. Bernadette will still have to punch in and out each day and talk someone into covering her phones when she has to run to the bathroom. Mrs. Bernadette will have developed hypertension and diabetes because she refused take advantage of her help benefits. Even though the company offered total tuition reimbursement, Mrs. Bernadette didn't have the time for all that and found comfort in making comments like, "ooo, honey, all these big words," and "these new girls talk so white."

As I grow older, while I am relatively young, I know there are things I need to let go of. I am not going to be a professional musician. When I look at the prospect honestly, I recognize that I lack the passion as well as the interest. Honestly, I don't care about that stuff as much as I once thought I did. If I wanted to work in music I'd hoing out my services far more aggressively. In Atlanta alone, there are far more people who love the microphone more then me. These days you have to force a microphone in my face.. I just don't to be another on of those moderately talented people with a whole lot of personality and trunk full of H&M accessories.

Realistically, we're all twenty-something going on 40 and I realize how hard it is to go back to school and work when you realized that your deal isn't coming.. I just don't want to wake up and be that guy or gurl when asked about my skill-set on the application responds with "my background is in 'admin stuff."

At the close of Mrs. Bernadette's career, her legacy will be simply that she was the only one who could unjam the copier. In 2009, I only want to be surrounded by people who are going somewhere. While we are not all going the same place, I can only be around those with substance.

So This Is Christmas...

2008-12-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

What an interesting wrap up for this year. My best friend Jasiri died in December and we funeralized him 12/17. My grandmother dies the following week and we opted to hold of the funeral until after Christmas. You know.. for the children of course. Wouldn't want to scar them

Following Black Friday I love my job after being told simply, "It just wasn't working.. you know with sales and all.. this is just nothing personal you know.. stop by any time.." Newly unemployed, I had to bartend at a corporate Christmas party to make a little money to keep the lights on.

Christmas was always my favorite time of year.. I loved the decorations, the music, the gatherings.. just being around gleeful people but really cannot remember a merry Christmas in recent history. Each year for about the past 10 years has been marred by moving, loneliness, divorce, depression, recession, or any combination of the aforementioned.

This year I sent out about 12 Christmas cards, I bought (and received) zero gifts, I didn't hang not a single ornament, and I slept until nearly noon Christmas morning? How does one restore the joy of Christmas?

Try Seeing Yourself As Others Do

2008-11-02T17:12:00.000-08:00

Growing up I was always warned about judging books by their covers. My mother constantly chastised me about making assumptions, jumping to conclusions, an writing people off. I appreciated that guidance but over the years have had to make adjustments. As naturally skeptical as I am, I get lied to a lot. Not outright lies, but those subtle misrepresentations. Those "I lied because I wanted you to like me," kind of lies.

I've learned in my old age that often the cover is a pretty good representation of what you'll find inside. Publishers often devote more time and resources to the art direction of a cover than to the editing of the actual content of books. They realize that the cover is what draws people in or in other cases cases them away. At any rate, it gives a pretty apt representation of what's to come.

Many of you know I've returned to the retail world [briefly.] I was at work the night before Halloween kinda counting down until it was time for me to go when this "young lady" walked into my store. I immediately, internally, drew several conclusions. After less then a minute, i deduced that she couldn't be older than 20, that she was from somewhere in North Georgia, that she was "country ghetto," and that she was as somehow in the sex industry.

She entered the store on her cell phone (which is not abnormal) talking unnecessarily loud. She was yelling at someone with this unmistakably "Georgia Mountains" twang of an accent but there was this Shaniqua attitude attached to it. As she spoke, her hand was going in every direction as though that somehow helped to get her point across to the party on the other end of her phone. She ended each phrase with, "or whatever,' or 'and what not." I didn't know whether to be offended, annoyed, or just laugh.

This went on for about :15. After :5 or so she'd abruptly end the call by slamming her flip phone shut and yelling some expletive like this person was putting her out in some way. Finally she addressed me. She explained that, "[she] had never been in my store, or what not, but that she'd wanted to get her husband something nice for Christmas." As any good sales person would, I began to ask questions and show her what options we had. She volunteered that she and her husband would be celebrating their first Christmas together and that she wanted to get him something nice. "He's an older gentleman... he's 33 or what not, so I want to get him something old school that he would like."

Apparently 33 is now old. I couldn't hold back my laughter, but I figured she's used to being laughed at as she was unscathed and never broke her "Chiquita meets Shania Twain" persona. After aimless wondering around my store for nearly :30 I offered her a catalog to take with her. She thanked me and then began to flip through it. She would turn to and decided on a $3400 shaving set. When I told her the price, I expected the usual, "that's too expensive" response. She casually offered that she was a stripper and that money was no object. My nonchalant, "okay," even surprised me.

As I continued to try and usher her out the door, she turned to me and asked, "how much is the book?" All I could say was baby, it's a catalog and it's free.

I told that little story to illustrate how important it is to see ourselves as others may. As soon as that girl walked in my store I said to myself, she's either a stripper or a prostitute. I don't know of a single woman who wants to come off like a stripper... even the ones who are. People often see us for exactly who and what we are, even when we choose not to. Be sure that your cover is a true representation of your content.

Get Over It Already..

2008-10-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

I find it interesting how wounds often have this strange ability to develop their own soul. We're afraid to get over "it" as though it has feelings. If we stop thinking about it, crying about it, or limiting ourselves because of it, then it will cease to exist. People are just programed to hold grudges. I was talking to a buddy of mine last week ... you know those hypothetical "whoa is me discussions" and I basically had to slap myself upside the head.

Why hold on? I mean we hold onto things soo long that we really are over it. We hold on because if we let go we'll miss the pain, or the embarrassment, or the hurt, or the loneliness. It's wild. Getting over it, or them, or then would mean letting that thing die.

Grudges are like that mole that you should have gotten removed because it scares children but you didn't and eventually just got used to it being there. I'm trying to let somethings die but I'm afraid I'll miss them.

Let's All Be Mavericks!

2008-10-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

I'll be honest.. a month ago I had never head the word Maverick used.. well except when discussing basketball and lord knows that team is rarely discussed outside of Dallas. Now it seems like the word, whether used as a noun, adjective, or verb is a part of everyday vernacular.

McCain, Palin, and the GOP have done an amazing job of steering voters away from the issues to focus on their own Maverickness. I don't know about you but I am happy to know that ever every day Joe Six Packs can be Mavericks.

I bet marketing professors and practitioners alike are hard thinking about this Maverick nonsense and gay marriage. We're all so busy trying to figure out what a Maverick is that we're no longer discussing those less important issues like our failing economy, the housing market, war, racism, and overall lack.

McCain/Palin's Marketing team really earned their bonuses this month.

The Tyler Perry Effect..

2008-09-14T19:42:00.000-07:00

It seems like recently the biggest "no, no" in Black America is to have anything but laughs and good words for Tyler Perry and his creations. The House of Payne and his movies and plays such as Madea Goes to Jail, Madea's Family Reunion, The Making of 'Diary', and Diary of a Mad Black Woman are simply not interesting to me. Each and every production is an adaptation of it's predecessor. It's as if everything he's done is yet another sequel. In a society where black men and women are some of the most homophobic (and outspoken about this) people around it's ironic that we derive soo much entertainment from a big black man in drag. I mean that dude is huge.. it's kinda scary.

I would say my criticisms are normal. What person doesn't have preferences when it comes to entertainment? Some like scary movies, some prefer romances and other prefer those teenie bopper college/high school comedies. I feel that Perry's movies focus on Black lack, characters with an inability to manage their emotions, and an overemphasis on money and labels. I'm tired of watching movies about mistreated struggling black mothers standing around in the kitchen reprising old Kirk Franklin albums and praying an crying; praying and crying. I just am tired of hearing/seeing the story. Personal Preferences. I cannot understand why some black people act as though a black person not having an interest is some type of affront to everyone else. Folks.. they're just make believe.

As an artist and a writer, I am not impressed with Perry. I think he got lucky. He's putting something out there that Black folks want to see.. and that is almost exclusively who is audience is.. Black folk. I just couldn't see him writing anything else or having the ability to leave this genre he's created for himself. I am planning to see a movie he's in soon... Start Trek 11 where he'll be playing the Commandant of the Academy! At least then he'll be relegated to resighting lines and not writing anything!

Matt Damon For President!

2008-09-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

I've always been fascinated how we deify our celebrities in America. Celebrities often go from being hostesses a the Waffle House to multimillionaires in a matter of months. Someone that money elevates and underwrites the validity of their opinions. Suddenly they become authorities on world relief efforts, foreign and domestic policy, etc. Funniness.. Check out Matt Damon below.. he's saying a lot of things that we all wish we had the money to afford the soap box to stand on and be heard.

Finding Your Center

2008-09-10T20:34:00.000-07:00

I was a really strange kid. Looking at me, you saw a short, stocky, yellow kid but listening to me was like being a fly on the wall at "the" Black Barber shop down the street from capital hill. I recall how proud yet uncomfortable I would make my parents as I bought up topics that were either not ready to address with their three sons, or not planning to address at all. Race was seldom discussed in our home. We knew we were colored but somehow we were so much more focused on the essence of that state of being colored that we had little time to wallow in the sorrow that is often not too far behind that same state of being colored.

I appreciate the objectivity that captivated my childhood. I was taught to look for and focus on similarities and to draw connections. As I searched for our commonalities, my focus was primarily on the positive. All too often we are drawn to each other because of our common struggle as though recognize the common stench of oppression, or misogyny, or hate. I guess I grew up embracing my differences and recognizing the value that those difference bought to every situation, every conversation, every interchange, and every conflict. My dissenting opinion, my divergent outlook, and my ability to divest myself from emotionalism and be objective, in my opinion, has been a gift.

Like so many African Americans I wasn't raised by my parents. Yeah, they were there.. but they almost operated like moderators.. editors at best. I was raised by NPR and books. I developed this love for the two; their ability to inform or to invite one to react based on what one's heard or what one's read. An opinion, and understanding, a view, a biased based on the facts irrespective of color, socioeconomic status, religious affiliation (or non-affiliation), or involuntary preconceptions. I developed this love for SciFi and Fantasy. From Green Woman to Fraggles I never gave any thought to why the Smurfs were Blue or why the little Lego people were Yellow. When placed in real world situations or conversations, I had the unique ability to focus solely on the "what" and completely ignore the irrelevance of "who."

As I grow my desire is to encourage people to evaluate and define their center. Similar to this idea of success, it's important to define individualized, achievable goals that focus on today going forward without focusing on what was. I speak to so many young men and woman, particularly of color, who are so paralyzed by racism, actual and perceived, they've decided against trying as they believe success to be impossible. As a black man, if I think of my success as being relative to what White America will allow me, this presupposes that White folk sit around their dinner tables plotting my failures and weighing their success against my failures as if to say that a victory for me is a setback for them. Realistically that family exist but I'm sure most of White America doesn't think of themselves as any less middle class or their degrees any less valid because I'm college and Barack is on his way to the White House.

The feelings of disenfranchisement are strong. To grow up feeling as though you will never.... because of your race, sex, ethnicity, complexion, etc. is unconscionable. In order for our country to grow, everyone is going to have to give up a little. Whites will have to let go of preconceptions and prejudices, and Blacks will have to (and I hate to oversimplify this) forgive and forget. The one commonality that all people of color have in common is that feeling of inadequacy. It's really hard to constructively articulate the feeling but I've started referring to it as "our common cousin." It's interesting how "the wound" has this ability to take on it's own soul.

Internal Relations

2008-09-10T18:01:00.000-07:00

It's most interesting how racism, even in the days of "Obama," exist so strongly in these United States. More alarming is the level that it exist with our own community. Within the diaspora black folks spend so much time trying to be separate, unique, and exclusive while all along continuing to perpetuate a template to the rest of the world. Haitians, African Americans, Africans, South Africans, Ethiopians, Egyptians, Jamaicans, Trinidadian--BLACK FOLK.

In our effort to be sooo different, we gone to war alone and having no idea how our segmentation hinders growth, stifles our collective voice, and perpetuates generational marginalization on all fronts. Just some thoughts... Aaron, when is Boondocks coming back??

Currently Reading:
The Yellow Wall-Paper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

The GOP National Convention

2008-09-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

Country First- Service, Reform, Prosperity, Peace

Prosperity for whom?

If I say nothing more about the Republic National Convention, I can most defiantly note that EVERYONE stuck to the script.. Apparently the Republican Party is committed to America First and Foremost! With each speaker, with each anecdote, with each commentary there is this recurring theme of the Republican party, namely John McCain's, commitment to America as compared to Barack Obama and the Democratic Party. Service is so much more than chairing $1000 per plate fundraisers and flying over to Iraq to assess the damage. Service involves getting ones hands dirty. Domestically. Reform is recognizing that everyone won't have the opportunity to attend Harvard or charter a private jet, but their contribution is worthwhile.

I find it interesting that a party so committed to this country could be so deliberately ignorant about the common man. I spent most of my night reading up on "old money." American businessmen and their multiple wives, gaggles of children, and generations of heiresses and heir who are the face of MTV, US weekly, and TMZ.com. It's ironic how as these families have progress through the generations, everyone has forgotten the source of where all these rich people's money. Bootleggers, slave owners, thieves, dishonest politicians, whore mongers, pimps, gangsters, etc... but now all of that money has been laundered into respectable media conglomerates, manufacturers, distribution companies, and defense contractors. The irony lies in the fact that these men and woman who lied, cheated, oppressed the minority, while hiding behind robes and hoods are the same men and woman that we have foolishly elected into public office for generations.

There is no greater dichotomy than the American government. The same men and women who are entrusted to regulate and police industry are the same people who own and operate the business they're charged to regulate. Our entire seat of government is held by millionaires, investment bankers, and heirs to family fortunes.

....So we wonder why welfare, food stamps, and section 8 leaves such a bad taste Republicans mouths?? It's not because they believe in small government or personal responsibility.. it's because they cannot see past the Harvard Legacy Status or their multiple estates to realise that America's working poor work for their companies. They same legislatures who were tasked with improving low income or high risk schools opted to invest in cobblestone sidewalks and new city scape's for their neighborhoods than to invest in areas populated by minorities.

One of the most profound statements I took awake from the campaign was Mike Huckabee's comment about "the shameful evil of racism." While I actually like Huckabee, I think he has really shown us the evils of partisan. The republican party has worked feverishly to continue the institutionalised oppression of minorities in order to maintain the status quot. I find it unfortunate that they're unaware that we've turned the channel from BET and are, now, very aware of what's really going on. Like Huckabee, I don't want the government to take care of me; I don't want to be broke all my life.. I guess I'll submit my application to the Republican Party once I pay off these $50 thousand in student loans, earn my first million, marry and have 2.5 children. Look at George & Barbara.. they're the face of the American Dream right??

Living Free & Clear from Impact Church

2008-09-01T20:05:00.000-07:00

Living Free and Clear from Impact Church on Vimeo.

Men & Their Sports...

2008-08-14T17:09:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who's been party to one of the long drawn out manly man conversations where the guys get together and talk sports?? I seem to be the only one who audibly laughs as each guy trys to out do the other with his display of random sports facts and random tidbits amid grunts, yells, and pats on the ass... Funny stuff.. true comedy. Who knows where it starts.. a sports mobile above the crib, a Fisher Price plush football, or damn sports video games.

From a young age I was made to understand that boys play sports. Period. Real men either played sports, or "faked" this obsession with them. These gender normatives follow us into adulthood and greatly affect our relationships with our kids. If you're the guy with the All American Quarterback Kid who gets a full ride to UCLA to play football, great for you. Hmm... what happens if your kid is into geology and decides to start a rock collecting club or directs his high schools fashion show? Then what? Hmm.. My 20 year old brother recently had twins--a boy and a girl--and is already planning out their lives in the NBA and WNBA, respectively. Unfortunately this is despite their wishes and is solely based upon his wants. He specifically articulated that he'd be upset otherwise.. Very similar attitudes to our father. Funny thing is my brother didn't play sports in high school and neither did our father.. Funny how our dreams for our kids can often stunt their futures.

Sports are just OK to me. I don't love them, I don't hate them. I don't pretend to know everyones stats and all that jazz. Sports are like crack.. those who are into it feel this need to force it on everyone else.. As good as I'm sure it is, I'll pass. I'd encourage you all to check your parents yearbook and I'm sure most of you won't find your fathers in the football team picture either. Chances are my mom knows more about sports than most men I know!

...with a greatful heart!

2008-08-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

Not sure what I'm going through tonight but I'm trying to give thanks for what I have despite what I don't. It's increasingly difficult to look past our lack and give thanks for what we have.. lonely I guess... ::sigh:: LOL

Aaron McGruder's Nightline Interview

2008-08-11T18:55:00.000-07:00

I am so sad that the Boondocks comic strip is no more. In a nation saturated by reality shows and articles about Brittany Spears coochie, it was that ram in the bush that we needed!

I love the fact that he's speaking truth without apology and without fear of reprisal. Poverty is poverty and unfortunately there are far more people in this country experiencing extreme lack then popular culture would like us to believe. Most of us are not living the carefree life of Paris Hilton. This manufactured outrage is laughable. Who's offended by Boondocks?? Often, we need to be offended so we say enough it enough and start brainstorming solutions.

Please Complete Me..

2008-08-10T11:14:00.000-07:00

As I continue on my journey to complete, authentic, and unrelenting happiness I had a conversation with a buddy today that got me to thinking about the mistakes we makes with regards to happiness. He recently reconciled with is girlfriend after working through some of their issues and while things should be okay as they enjoy their new rekindled "post lust/pre-love", she's still not happy. It's nothing he's done or not done to cause this, she's just unhappy.

Happiness is the only thing in life that is completely self defined. Stupid is stupid. More or less, ugly is ugly. Happiness is the only state where there are no absolute presets. I've been there.. I could never actualize happiness because I always thought it would come when I lost the weight. Then I though it would come when I gained it back! I thought it would come after I bought the new cloths, but sadly I couldn't quite pull off the look. I thought happiness would come with the relationship, with the degree, with the care, with the friend, or even by way of a microphone and a state. Sadly, it didn't. With each level of graduation, the bar was only raised. I decided I wasn't go to be that guy who works my whole life to get "stuff"--whatever stuff may be for you- -and then drop dead the day after I finally get it.

Ironically, we expect those around us to complete us. Sadly, often that expectation is not reciprocated as we live to force our habits, idiosyncrasies, insecurities, past, and personalities down others' throats while we expect those around us to be the "perfect...."

-Roderick Griner, July 2008

Love, things, people, places, etc.. cannot make you happy. Didn't work for me. Things are great. People are cool too. Love is the best.. but they only serve to supplement the state you go to on your own. The flip side is, the lose of any of the aforementioned cannot topple you from that state of happiness because they didn't aid in getting you there!

..::Listening to Phoebe Snow: No Regrets::..

Where's All The Good Music Gone? Vol. 2

2008-08-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

I discovered this great video of Jazmine Sullivan singing "IN Love with Another Man" today. Listen to this girl belt this song with little more than a keyboard to accompany her! She can sing like this and you can still only find her music on Youtube and through various peer2peer sharing sites. Funny thing is I was in Target yesterday and they had a whole freaking wall of that trick Ashantie! All I can say is she must give bomb head cause she surely isn't a singer.

Be Strong My Friend

2008-08-08T20:09:00.001-07:00

Hey Peeps... been a lil down and stuff but how many know that God is! Check out my girl Chantae Cann singing Be Strong. Enjoy her voice, but listen to the words.. they'll bless you.

Ok, So now what George W.?

2008-08-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when they first started talking recession? Fox News and Republicans everywhere passed the warnings off as alarmist speculation. Just months later people are actually celebrating that gas prices have dropped to $3.87. Seriously? For the first time in my lifetime, everyone is broke. Blacks & Whites, College Grads & GED holders, Young & Old. Everyone is feeling the pinch. Well everyone except our leaders. We live in the most dichotomous governmental system that exist. We rely on wealthy, Yale educated elitists to make the decisions that affect people who will never have enough to eat, never make enough to keep things turned on, and will never know excess or extravagance. We have a system of government where regular people cannot be success. Look at Hillary. Obviously you cannot run for office unless you have 5 or so million dollars sitting around to subsidize a campaign that started out failing. Sorry Hill.. that was mean. Oh I digress...

I've been unemployed since mid June. Lost my job because they needed to cut a position and I was too smart. No, I'm not puffing my head up.. they told me I was too smart. The irony is we're raised to shoot for the stars. "Do well in school" they tell us and all things will be at your disposal. Not so. Mediocrity will keep you employed while ambition scares folks. I was at the unemployment office today to get a letter to send to my student loans guarantors to show that I am in fact unemployed. The woman working at the Department of Labor, who looked at least 40, told me that she has an "economic hardship" deferment of her loans. Imagine that.. the people at the state unemployment office are a paycheck away from being other side of the counter. On Monday I went to the Department of Families and Children to see if I could qualify for any other type of assistance. Shit.. I pay taxes, why not.. I read my entire Newsweek while waiting. The whole thing! Advertisements and all. Can I just throw in her that government office are organized confusion?? Jesus Christ. Who the hell is in charge?? Well I finally go into see a counselor who after looking at all my past due bills and then looking at my weekly unemployment benefits and told me I made too much money to get ANY assistance. Unemployed, I make too much money! This bitch had the audacity to tell me she works at the office and is on food stamps. Ain't that some shit?? Our system is set up to sustain functional poverty. A culture of working poor. Am I the only one who thinks things are broken?

...Reality is what they need.

2008-08-08T17:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like Disney is responsible for everything we see on TV, and everything we experience a the movies. I understand that these mediums are based in make believe but must of it is down right fantasy. I think that TV shows like Friends and Martin are very apt examples of real life. White people with White people and Black People. It almost seems like there is this new formula for TV shows... you have to have your overly horny Black guy, your angry Black woman, a ditsy White girl, a gay, and either a White or Asian "all American" athletic type. In this fantasy world, everyone gets along, nothing offends anyone, and somehow everyone fully understands the respective experiences of the other characters no matter how diverse their stories. In a perfect world this would be great, but unfortunately it is not a realistic characterisation of how we really interact. It is so much easier to tell the story this way than to open a dialogue about the fact that we all are fearful of what is different. If each group new the conversations that the others were having about them when it's "just us."

I'm sitting here watching the movie, The Fighting Temptations. I cannot get over the opening scene. The setting is an old school Baptist church featuring an energetic church choir led by Pastor Shirley Cesar. The time seems like As the camera pans the congregation... everyone in the church is IN. Folks are shouting, dancing, falling out, etc. Funny stuff... The funniest part is the church congregation is more mixed than any church I've been in.. and I grew up Methodist and went to Catholic School! Interracial couples, White men, women and children, Asians, and blacks... as though this naturally occurs. The only thing there were missing was the gay! But lets be real, it was a Black church! Don't get me wrong. I love the idealism of tinsel town but I'd rather we tell the story as it is and force people to admit to and work through their fear of what's unknown.

Today Is Jamaican Independence Day

2008-08-06T00:12:00.000-07:00

Today I'm celebrating Jamaican Emancipation and Independence Day. The official holiday is August 6th but it is celebrated the first Monday of every August. The flag and it's colors have become so cliche to American's but they surely mean something to my kin folk! The Jamaica National Flag was first raised on Independence Day, August 6, 1962. It signifies the birth of our nation.

..::Listening to The Jamaican National Anthem::..

Listen the Anthem

Jamaican National Anthem

Eternal Father, Bless our Land,
Guide us with thy mighty hand,
Keep us free from evil powers,
Be our light through countless hours,
To our leaders, great defender,
Grant true wisdom from above,
Justice, truth be ours forever,
Jamaica, land we love,
Jamaica, Jamaica, Jamaica, land we love

Teach us true respect for all,
Stir response to duty's call,
Strengthen us the weak to cherish,
Give us vision lest we perish,
Knowledge send us Heavenly Father,
Grant true wisdom from above,
Justice, truth be ours forever,
Jamaica, land we love,
Jamaica, Jamaica, Jamaica, land we love.

Words by Hugh Sherlock, music by Robert Lightbourne

...Nothin' Goin On But the Rent

2008-07-31T23:59:00.000-07:00

I celebrated a first today... well a celebrations of sorts. My phone was disconnected today fort he first time in my life. I realized something.. this is the first time in nearly a decade that I've gone an hour without sending or receiving a text message. This unemployment thing is not cute. The irony is I am sure all of the companies to which I've applied attempted to call me back today!

Republicans and the wealthy (often they're on in the same) seem to think all is well in this country. NPR did a piece yesterday on thrift shops. They talked about how their clients have change... more and more middle class families are turning to thrift stores for anything and everything as they don't have disposable income for essentials. Goodwill and the Salvation Army also lamented that the quality and quantity of donations have declined. The former haves are holding on to what they have unsure when they'll be able to go shopping again and the have nots are stuck with the rags that are left. All I can do is laugh these days.. I'm curious what's to come.

..::Listening to Donny Hathaway & Roberta Flack - Come Ye Disconsolate::..

What's the Deal With these fitted caps?

2008-07-29T18:22:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that I am just not writing this blog.. what's the deal with guys and girls wearing baseball hats and leaving the original tag and size sticker on it?? ... like is that some kind of rule?? I remember when I was younger I saw this episode of Muffet Babies where Miss Piggy thought she was going to go to jail because she tour the tag off her mattress.. Is it one of those ordeals because if so,I'm sure the "ball cap police" established under the Bush Administration have much better things to do than concern them selves with your hats.

I'm an actual baseball fan. I love the game. I support my hometown team the Baltimore Orioles.. funny thing is it seems like you sticker wearers only support The Boston Red Socks or The New York Yankees... funny thing is I'm sure most guys couldn't name the couch, or one player... y'all probably don't even know when baseball season is! Guess that's why I don't have swag.. I'm in the habit of taking the tags off of things I purchase. You guys probably take them back the next day like girls and prom dresses! My advice is just stoppit.. You look like an idiot to the rest of us.

Life's Undo Button

2008-07-28T21:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really wish there was one. For every time I fucked up, put my foot in my mouth, lied, or showed my "inner nerd" I wish I could just go to life's file menu and click undo.. undo.. undo allowing me the opportunity to take that knowledge and use exactly the right line, or laugh at the right joke, or leave some of these situations alone all together.

Many of you are old enough yet just young enough to remember The Elephant Show. This is before Barney and Teletubbies and all that other trash the kids are watching now.. They use to sing these songs about sharing and caring and treating people the way you want to be treated. My dumb ass took it all to heart.. I care what people think. I care how people feel. Damn eighties TV shows. Today a long lost friend that I had stopped talking to contacted me and my initial thought was to simply ignore and delete, ignore and delete. As I started I thought about someone in my life that I had mess up with and figured they were following my formula.. ignore and delete, ignore and delete and decided to respond. I'm sooo idealistic.. lol believing that one good deed will begat another like I'm earning tickets and Chucky Cheese or something.. bullshit.

Sometimes I feel like Carlton from the Fresh Prince... bright eyed, self assured, and a believe in the goodness of people.. I just wants those I love to love me back.. and then to continue that love without reservation.. almost like a parent to a child.. It's so easy to love a cute kid. A straight A student. That kid who's biggest worry is deciding which of the 12 schools they were accepted to and offered full scholarships they want to attend. What about the parent who sees their kid on the news.. who has to pick him up from the Principal's office of bail him out.. again? Good parents love you no matter what dumb shit you do, or how big your nose is, or how much you remind them of what they hate about themselves.

We all seem to want "he without blemish." In the absence of that undo button I'm learning that, that type of love probably doesn't exists otherwise. This scares me.

..::Listening to Only The Lonely By Diana Krall::..

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

2008-07-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

I love this movie! My friend Alex turned me onto it... great storyline, awesome music, and great compliment of actors.

Brief Synopsis (from Amazon.com)

Ulysses Everett McGill (George Clooney) escapes the chain gang with two fellow convicts the simple and somewhat slow Delmar (Tim Blake Nelson) and ill-tempered Pete (John Turturro) to pursue the promise of hidden loot stashed in his house that is about to be swept away in a flood. On the way the trio experience a journey filled with hilarious adventure and cast of strange characters starting with a blind prophet who warns them that "the treasure you seek shall not be the treasure you find."

Not only is the movie awesome, the sound track offers a lot of original [performance] period relevant music. Check it out! You music enthusiast who appreciate more than just The Clark Sisters won't be disappointed.

Release Date: December 5, 2000
Label: Buena Vista Pictures

Track Listings

1. Po Lazarus - J. Carter & Prisoners

2. Big Rock Candy Mountain - Harry McLintock

3. You Are My Sunshine - Norman Blake

4. Down In The River To Pray - Alison Krauss

5. I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow - The Soggy Bottom Boys featuring Dan Tyminski

6. Hard Time Killing Floor Blues - Chris Thomas King

7. Man Of Constant Sorrow (Instrumental) - Norman Blake

8. Keep On The Sunny Side - The Whites

9. I'll Fly Away - Gillian Welch & Alison Krauss

10. Didn't Leave Nobody But The Baby - Gillian Welch, Alison Krauss & Emmylou Harris

11. In The Highways - The Peasall Sisters

12. I Am Weary - The Cox Family

13. I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow (Instrumental) - John Hartford

14. O Death - Ralph Stanley

15. In The Jailhouse Now - The Soggy Bottom Boys featuring Tim Blake Nelson

16. I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow (With band) - The Soggy Bottom Boys feat. Dan Tyminski

17. Indian War Whoop (Instrumental) - John Hartford

18. Lonesome Valley - The Fairfield Four

19. Angel Band - The Stanley Brothers

..::Watching: The Soggy Bottom Boys Singing "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"::..

Black Sells... Reactions to CNN Presents: Black in America

2008-07-26T20:33:00.000-07:00

::Applauds Spike Lee::

In one of my earlier post entitled, "Us Against Us," I criticized Vogue Magazine for it's tasteless depiction of basketball player LaBron James as a brutish ape figure. It doesn't take much imagination to visualize the imagery and see King Kong. While I was, and am still upset with this creative decision on the part of Condé Nast Publications, publishers of Vogue, James is not exonerated. The reality is that didn't. LaBron James--idol to little Black boys the world over--has decided that this imagery is acceptable.. or at least for the right price. This is a very consistent trend in media. The unfortunate truth is that dramatizations of the plight of Black America sells. It's entertaining, engaging and serves to maintain, at least the image, that Blacks —all Blacks —behave this way. So many would love to believe that Mo'Nique (in her role as Jamiqua in the 2004 Movie, Soul Plane) as an apt representation of Black women or common story line of incarcerated absentee fathers. I feel it necessary to disclose that I feel Soul Plane was perhaps the worst movie ever made and should have been a wake up cal for a lot of people. The reality is that Blacks are just as responsible for the images we allow our faces, and voice to create through television, music, and cinema and the mostly White "gatekeepers" that green light these projects and provide much of the creative directors.

It is so much harder to be a Black entertainer than any other race. We're not privileged to carry on like Lindsay Lohan or Brittany Spears because there's this implied responsibility. We expect our stars to represent us. Seriously. Most Black teens have no idea who their local municipal officials are, and could care less what their opinions are, but they look to Oprah, and the likes and Michael Vick for direction and an example. There is this expectation that their work should uplift the race..

I had the opportunity to hear Sheldon "Spike" Lee speak, in Martin Luther King Jr. Chapel, on the campus of Morehouse College in 2003 about the challenges of being a film maker in a White dominated industry. He opened my eyes. This was my first time hearing the term “gatekeepers." We see so much color in popular culture, be it music, film, vernacular, etc., but few realize that these people are not as powerful as we think. Albeit, many of them are rich... for a season, but persons of color are grossly underrepresented in positions of true authority. Positions with the ability to set trends define and determine relevance, to allocate financing, and to give the final “yah or née” on projects.

I was a late bloomer when it comes to Mr. Lee's projects. I read sociological studies on his movies long before I ever saw any of them. I thought of Spike as a powerhouse, a multimillions... a gatekeeper. I had no idea the amount of leg work he had to do to get financing for his projects. He makes films "people don't want to see." We don't want to see socially aware Blacks on the big screen. We, as in Black people, don't want to see these images.

I remember growing up watching The Cosby Show and A Different World and hearing the undercurrent from Blacks about how unrealistic these shows were. Imagine that.. the idea of a Black doctor marrying a Black attorney. What were they thinking? …The idea of a Black couple having five children and not being on welfare and living in poverty? …Images of multiple generations of married couples? …Never having an episode of picking a child up from the police station or an eviction scare. Unrealistic, huh? Sounds a lot like my family. We have taken ownership of the wrong struggle. Rather than educating ourselves and fighting institutionalized racism, we are trying to hold onto welfare and food stamps as though these institutions are inherently ours.

I appreciate how vocal Lee has been in bringing to light the disproportion of Blacks in true positions of influence. In a culture where YouTube.com and American Idol has made every teenager believe that fame is 13 weeks and a season finale away, we need to aspire to be directors, attorneys, executive producers, etc. and not just pretty faces waiting on directions.

We need to take back our faces, and our voices, and our music, and our bodies and start to produce and support work that positively and equitably depicts people of color. It's so hard wanting more for people than they want for themselves.

..::Reading - Uplift The Race, The Construction Of School Daze by: SPIKE LEE with LISA JONES::..

John Legend + India.Arie = Good Music

2008-07-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

I love R&B singers John Legend and India.Arie. I've spent a good deal of today reading about and watching clips from their 'Oxygen's Custom Concert' at the Sony Studios March 22, 2005 in New York City. I find myself constantly asking the question, "where has all the good music gone?" Where have all the real musicians gone?" These two are amazing.. artist who can write, sing, play instruments, have stage presence and don't just look good in their eclectic trendy outfits! And They both look soo good!

Rather than supporting albums, I find myself conceptualizing these "fantasy albums." My most recently fantasy album is a collection of big band and soul ballad duet covers featuring John and India. Maybe even a couple original numbers in there.. I just really want to hear some good music. Music that has the possibility of becoming standards, classics, and "oldies" and not all these flavor of the week so called hits corporate America is shoving down our throats. Will the true hit makers please stand up? Where is the next Chaka Khan, Roberta Flack or the next Donny Hathaway?

I rarely listen to the radio... beyond the insufferable personalities Radio One, the self proclaimed "Urban Media Specialist," presents as experts on all things; I tired of hearing the same play lists over and over. Who gave them the right to decided who's hot and who's not based on corporate sponsorships, cup size, and so called swag?? I digress...! Check out the below links and I'm sure you'll appreciate their chemistry.

John Legend & India.Arie Performing Brown Skin

John Legend & India.Arie Performing Ordinary People

..::Listening to John Legend: If This World Were Mine::..

Where's All The Good Music Gone?

2008-07-26T18:12:00.000-07:00

Today I found myself wandering around Atlantic Station aimless wondering what I used to do on Saturday Afternoon. Atlanta is one of those cities where there is seemingly nothing to do except shop and eat. Interestingly enough we are leading the nation with our obesity and debt percentages. Ironic.. As I laughed to myself, a group of Georgia Tech Student's walked passed singing some parody of the Cheers theme song... Where Everybody Knows Your Name by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo...

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows Your name.

Good stuff! Suddenly I remembered what I used to do. I used to go to Tower Records on 3232 Peachtree Rd NW in Buckhead (Atlanta, GA.) The last time I heard some live music at an actually music store, it was a promotional set by PJ Morton for his Emotions album. As they wrapped up, the band began to freestyle and Zeb Ellis and Josiah Martin transitioned into Where Everybody Knows Your Name. Takes me back! You just cannot get that in Atlanta anymore.. unless you're willing to pay $10-15 OR $25 at the door!

Tower Records was great! It was like this warehouse structure with new and used cassettes, CD's, LP's... even 45's. They had everything! I've always been pretty eclectic, but meandering through Tower Records, I noticed interesting cover artwork, genres I'd never heard of. I spent so many hours and sooo much money there over the years. There's no longer anything like it anywhere.. apparently, the whole company went bankrupt and had to close all of their US based stores. The irony is the loss of stores like Tower Records and HMV (used to be in Lenox Mall where the BeBe Store is) has given rise to Kazaa, Limewire, and other Peer2Peer sharing sites that allow people to, often illegally, share music. People like me who would gladly buy music, much of which is out of print and commerically unavailable, cannot.

We have Apple's Itunes.. but there is something different about going through the stacks.. there is something different about tripping and falling over something you never even knew existed and finding a new love. Apple's Itunes library is limited and often you have to know EXACTLY what you're looking for..

Tower Records, and stores like it, are gone. While their web presence is still in operation, Tower Records filed for bankruptcy for the second time and they were unable to recover this time and will close its doors. Perhaps forever. Admittedly, their new music was sooo expensive. I could get better deals at Borders with their incessant 30% off email coupons or my Barnes & Noble discount card and who can compete with Target or Wal *Mart?? With all the music enthusiast, musicians, and singers I know, I am waiting on the entrepreneur who is going to bring us the next incarnation of a "tower records" instead of another restaurant, barber shop, or urban wear store.

..::Watching The Cheers Theme on YouTube.com::..

Grass Just Looks Greener

2008-07-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Cheating Begins With a Thought... like a sorta deceleration.. an admonition that "if I could... mmm yeah, I would.. maybe."
I'm pretty hard to date. In a culture where everyone wants the freedom to do whatever they want but still feel like they need to be in a relationship, the lines between fidelity and infidelity have become so blurry. For me, cheating begins at the conception of the thought. Y'all know what I'm talking about.. those lustful, glazed over stares; all the laughing hysterically at things that aren't remotely funny.. I've said for some years that people are perpetually in this state of shopping.. similar to job searchers. No matter how much they like their job or how much it meets their needs, they continue to shop their resume around and even go on "interviews" on their lunch breaks! All day at work Careerbuilder.com, and Indeed.com are minimized in their system tray, as they are constantly on the lookout for not necessarily something better, just something different.

When you make decelerations like, "if I were single I would.." you're essentially saying if I could make this happen, I'm in. If I could get away with this, I'm in.

At what point does the "for better or for worse" clause kick in? ...I guess once we're old and our "stuff" no longer works on demand, we'll settle it down.. I just hope that if you get caught, the new job is a lateral move and not a demotion.

..::Listening to Grass Just Looks Greener by Freestyle Nation::..

Reactions to: CNN Presents Black in America

2008-07-23T20:02:00.000-07:00

Prior to tonight's airing of this documentary, every educated black person I know text messaged, called and emailed to make sure that I was aware of the showing, and that I watch and told everyone I knew to watch as well. So, I passed the word along. I was chatting with a buddy on messenger and asked, "are you watching black in America." He said, huh? What's that? So I explained and his response to me was, "well I am watching Tyler Perry's House of Payne so technically, yes I am watching black in America, lol." I did not laugh. I explained the importance of watching and he asked me what channel it was on. I said, CNN and he told me he had no idea if he even received CNN through is cable provider, DISH NETWORK. Really? Really? He changed the channel, and five minutes later, he changed back to House of Payne and told me the documentary, was "boring and depressing." We're our own worst enemies.

I just finished watching CNN Presents Black in America and am overall pretty pleased with the balance reporting by CNN and Soledad O'Brien, respectively. It's rare that I see a news piece or documentary that shows both sides of the storey and multiple facets of being black in America. We saw the dedicated single father who just couldn't make ends meat, the absentee father, promiscuity, devotion, success, violence, etc. all in the same documentary.

I feel [and I'm not sure whether or not this was the intention] the team that produced this showed a really good balance between involuntary situations and personal choices that people make which become the sum of who we are and the lives we live. For so long black people have been able to say... I'm black, slavery happened, so my life is going to be shit without regard to an individuals choices. A really, really, really good example was the woman who had 5 children by the same man. They never married and now she supports her family alone working as a massage therapist and realtor. Really? Five kids later you realised he was no good? She broke because she loved the ding ding. Not because of the man, society, etc.

I was so excited to see something on a major network in a prime time slot that didn't center around Barack Obama or feature Cornel West, Oprah, Jesse Jackson, or any other well known voices that have arguably lost their relevance... in my limited opinion. While I appreciate the aforementioned for their respective contributions, we are not holding our leadership accountable fort he misguided misinformation they've poisoned our communities with. If this was corporate America, they would have been long replaced by more socially aware figures. I liken then to a bad TV show.. we didn't cancel them early on enough so now the general public is stuck with them for a full seven years to appease their few fans . The exec's simply move them to UPN or TNT and hope everyone's happy.

More too come on all this...

Make Sure you Check out Day 2: Premieres on CNN Thursday, July 24, 9 p.m. ET

You Can also purchase, yes purchase, the series on Itunes.

The Job Not Worth The Application

2008-07-21T14:18:00.000-07:00

I'm steadfastly entering my second month of being unemployed and am becoming increasingly frustrated with the application processes of so many Atlanta Employers. For god's sake.. how many damn questions are you going to ask entry level applicants? These retailers are the worst. They want to know everyone you know, everywhere you've worked, lived, etc. After typing all that in they subjected you to this 30 page questionnaire asking the same 5 questions, different ways, over and over again. To add insult to injury, the assholes never call you back!

Ironically, the process is so much easier for those in academia and senior management. All they need is a résumé that's a couple pages long and a nice suit and you got the job. The AJC recently reported misrepresentation on the part of Pamela Stephenson who serves as interim CEO for the embattled Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta, GA. Apparently it was discovered there were inequalities in Stephenson's resume to include 2 master degrees, a PhD, and a law degree. Of these four degrees, only one master could be verified. This discovery, of course, came after awarding her a 2 year, $1.2 Million guaranteed contract, even though her employment term is not expected to last that long. She has since apologized for the error, citing “Word Processing Error” for claims of these degrees she does not have.

The irony is that Pamela Stephenson had the job. The search committee, which Stephenson also chaired, described her as "good for Grady." The only reason her credentials were scrutinized so closely is because of public disapproval of her salary despite the ailing hospital's financial troubles. In addition to all this apparently she is being pursued in court for hundreds of thousands of dollars that she owes, and her ability to continue practicing law may be in question. did I also mention she is a Dakalb County Legislature??

Good thing she wasn't applying to be a Kroger Bagger because after looking at her credit and checking out her references and employment history, she likely wouldn't have even gotten an interview.

He Looked Beyond My Fault

2008-07-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

Nothing like a good hymn! This is perhaps my favorite song. It's a prayer of thanksgiving, an admission of sin, and a love song all in one. The lyrics, while simple, are empowering.

Amazing Grace, shall always be my song of praise.

For it was grace that brought me liberty,

I do not know, just why He came to love me so.

He looked beyond my fault and saw my need.

I shall forever lift mine eyes to Calvary,

To view the cross, where Jesus died for meHow marvelous,

His grace that caught my falling soul

He Looked beyond my fault and saw my need.

Lyrics by Dottie Rambo

(to the tune of "Londerry Aire")

He Looked Beyond My Fault performed by Jamaal Sanford

Don't Nobody Know About Me

2008-07-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

Who are you? No, who are you really? What's your real name? Where are you really from? Who's name is that car in, lol? I was in Target today and overheard these two guys conversing.. one referred to the other as Paris. They were obviously gay but I wanted to yell out, "your mom did not name you Paris." I know you think that's cute but it's not.

I love to talk and people tend to see me as a safe place so once they open up, they let it all out. I have this talent for reading between the lines and hearing what they're not saying yet they're speaking so loudly. This scares people. It's reminiscent of being caught with their pants down.. and not in a good way. Historically, they open up and tell the unscripted, unrehearsed truth, OR they run, embarrassed that I was able to see them without the make up; and worse without their consent. So much energy, effort, and research goes into playing these roles. In a world where you can change anything about yourself that you want to—your sex, skin color, nationality, socioeconomic status—why do we feel the need to play these roles? The worst part is it's all to impress the boyfriend of the week or people who really don't like you anyways. We live in a culture where at least once a week someone is arrested for impersonating a doctor or an attorney. I mean these fools were doing it long term, like ten years.. for the time they'll spend in jail they could have gone to Georgia State.. they obviously have the aptitude. There's a certain laziness that goes along with lying. It's so much easier to simply assume a persona, then to work at a change.

What is it about love, lust, and this yearning for acceptance that causes people to either completely change or conceal who they are? Lies, exaggerations, omissions, additions... they're all the same. I've been there, trust me. Growing up, my mom used to always tell me, "don't let your friends choose you; you make the choice." Funny thing is so did everyone else's mom, right? There's something absolutely amazing about being chosen... oh to be that dude who KNOWS that there is an entire group of ladies who have been staring at him all night. To know that he could effortlessly have any of them. To know that he could probably get away with having all of them. The secret validation that comes from getting a random note on your car from an admirer.. or the juvenile "he said that she said, you're pretty cute.." Funny thing is even those half compliments create half smiles. You know the ones... "you're cute for a big girl..." or "I don't usually fuck with light skinned dudes, but..." There's something euphoric about idea that someone The believe in what initially seems to be sincerity... priceless. Unfortunately, after being disappointed over and over again, that excitement turns to cynicism. The result: emotional brick walls.

I know this young lady from small town outside Jackson, MS. Everyday as a child, well into her teenage years, she told herself I'm going to get out of this town. I'm going to make something of myself. Her childhood was stolen by abuse. She was ostracised for being smart. So she left. As she arrived in Seattle, WA she wasn't the same young lady. Last I saw her, she had grown locks, developed an accent, and apparently she was born and raised in London. Umm.. ok, do you. Funny thing is, she's a hostest at a national chain restaurant. She's no longer that awkward girl from MS... now she's no one. She's so consumed by her lies that she cannot let anyone get close for fear that they won't like the real her. She got away from the oppression, but she's created a new prison.

I also know this guy who's been trying to break into the music scene for the better part of a decade. Not surprisingly he's a rapper. He's from Upper Marlboro, MD and raps about his hard life gang banging, selling drugs and pimping hoes. I wonder how he kept all of this a secret while he attended an all male catholic school. By day he works at customer service at Home Depot; by night he rocks a fitted cap, sags his jeans, and tries to keep from smiling until his sets are over and he's safely backstage. Couldn't have the world knowing he smiles. Funniest part is he usually ask to go as early as he can... can't be out too late on those Saturday nights.. you know he plays the organ for his church.

I've played the roles. Every pretended to be interested in something in the hopes that eventually you'd grow to like it? Clubbing? Drinking? Promiscuity? I'm a recovering people pleaser. I was that guy, where as long as it made you like me, I was down for whatever.

My main concern has always been how much I'm liked not realizing that I didn't even like the people I wanted to like. You like football? Me too. You like Country Music, wow.. me too! No was not in my vocabulary. I would stay out all night with people who didn't work or weren't in school and was so happy to be "apart of things" that I could not speak up for myself. My biggest fear was being excluded. Not being on the guest list. Being unpopular. How unattractive is that?? Funny thing is most people, quiet as it's kept, love people like that. We want people to fit our molds of the perfect... We want someone to laugh at our jokes, buy us stuff, and go with our flow. Ironically, as I learned the word no, the phone calls stopped. They turned to text and then the text turned into generic Myspace messages, and then it was just me. Initially I blamed "the them." The ex's, the prospects, the friends, the associates. Then I figured something out. I loved me. I loved who I was, how I looked, etc. My fear was that the world wouldn't get me. Well.. they don't, and I'm ok with that.

Atlanta is one of those cities.. those cities where no one has ties since most people are transplants. Who you are is who you say you are. There's this freedom that exist that allow everyone to be whoever they are.. seemingly there's a niche for everyone.. in this type of free culture people take so much creative license with who they are, who they were, and everything in between. My family is well known in Maryland. My brother went to court for some traffic tickets and the judge is a good friend of the family. Our name carries history and value and with that, responsibility. Everything I do, say, or get caught up in gets back to someone and I tend to care what they think. Atlanta is one of those cities where you can wake up on Monday and decide to hook for a week to pay your rent at the end of the month and grand mama back in Louisiana will never know unless you tell her. There something liberating about that kind of freedom, but again with that type of free come comes responsibility.

The worst part about thinking "don't know body know about me," is they all do. People understand the root of your obsession with the gym, or your promiscuity, or your eating disorder even when you don't realize these are problems. Many of these folks find it unbelievable that someone could be interested... especially since they've see you out of costume. The trick is finding that person who not only notices those flaws, but sees them as aspects of you leaving the choice for change solely in your lap. People see through the façade. Will things change? Not likely. Seems so much easier to seek out people who like who you are and what you have to offer right? I'll let you all know how it works out for me.

..::Listening to Ne-Yo Year of The Gentleman: Don't Fall In Love::..

Cooning For Jesus

2008-07-20T18:24:00.001-07:00

I believe that worship is our outward display of our relationship God. It's our proof. There's no formula, there's no "how to guide" or instructional video.. just authentic transparency. While you may not personal enjoy Kim Burrell's vocal acrobatics, you have to appreciate her sincerity. Now Kirk Franklin, for many years the face of Gospel Music, apparently thought he was on the set of MTV's TRL or BET's 106 & Park and NOT TBN's Praise The Lord. I'm glad she read him then and there. Really Kirk? Really?

Kim Burrell Singing Walter Hawkins Be Grateful on TBN

Choir Robes & Award Shows

2008-07-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

Has anyone noticed that lately you can find choir robes everywhere but your local church? The new trend has become matching outfits.. lol So I've put my time in over the years and I know all about robes and these matching outfits.. Choir rehearsals ends and someone yells out, "so what we posed to wear on sunday?" The director scratches his head and says. .."hmmm how bout red? ..yeah let's do red." So everyone spends their weekend trying to piece (and I do mean piece) together these red outfits. The worst.. lol... that works if you have a praise team of six but the whole choir?? Can we take it back to the days of white tops and black bottoms?? I'm just saying...
The funny thing is the only place that I see choir robes these days are behind secular artist at award shows? What is that?? Mariah Carey, Justin Timberlake, Beyoncé Knowles,and Kanye West flanked by FULL choirs singing the hook to their latest hook with a bit of extra churchy vibrato? Obviously the robes are not that expensive since these labels are ordering custom robes for one show... hmm..

I hear all complaints about robes.. they're hot, they're heavy, they're ugly... etc, etc. They aren't that hot. Robes are no more hot then those polyester suits and synthetic gator shoes from K&G. One of the reasons churches adopted robes in the first place was to alleviate the cost of having to constantly be in a new outfit while still providing a unified look. The key reason is that the difference between being on stage at church and being on stage at the Apollo is that church is not about you. It's not about your voice. Your runs. Your personal sense of style. It's not about your curves or your muscles. It's about singing praises to God and edifying the people under the sound of your voice.

Y'all let me know if you need help selling chicken dinners so we can get some new robes..

Here's some interesting information on the origin of choir gowns, church vestments, choral uniforms and outfits.

..::Listening to Forever by Chris Brown::..

Crank Dat Soulja Boy

2008-07-19T22:46:00.000-07:00

....if only Dr. King would have known that this is all we needed to bring the races together. A dumb ass song and complimenting dance. Dr. Cornel West can retire and Rev. Jesse Jackson can go back to pastoring. Imagine that..

..::Listening to Welcome to the Colored Section by Donnie::..

"UNSHACKLED!"

2008-07-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

I thought I would share a little known story of how I became a Christian. I grew up in church I've always attended church, sang in the choir, went to Sunday and Vacation Bible School, and appreciated Contemporary Christian and Gospel Music. Funny thing is none of that is enough. Being a Christian is intentional and cannot be attained somehow by association.

My brother's and I went to Catholic School and each and every day our mother used to pick us up and drive us home. One the way home, each and every day, we would listen to a radio program called "UNSHACKLED!" The program was wild. It was like a radio theatre show from the forties with a full cast of talent, sound effects, music, etc. Being the nerd that I am I immediately got into it. The show reminded me of an old war show. Funny thing is some how I would hear everything but the Jesus part. There memory that is most vivid is the organ intro and outro of each show. Hey.. must be the musician in me. The stories differed from day to day and featured everything from prostitutes torn between family life and their "work" to soldiers fighting in overseas conflicts unsure what their tomorrow will be. One day I realized mom's salvation wasn't enough for me and while I wasn't at a crossroad like many of the broadcast's characters, there wasn't much separating me from them.

In a culture where church is trying to emulate the world and we are constantly trying to reinvent the wheel all along moving further and further away from our purpose I'm excited like that a show like this is still produced! Check out there website and pass it along! You can stream the episodes online!

..::Listening to Chains written by Kirk Franklin::..

---------------------------------

Background Information:

Since 1950, Pacific Garden Mission has produced this unique series, making "UNSHACKLED!" the longest-running radio drama in history. Still produced in the style of the "Golden Age" of radio, every element is live at the time of the production — the original music, the creative sound effects and, of course, the dynamic performances of talented professional actors. "UNSHACKLED!" is broadcast around the world over 7,000 times each week on over 1,800 radio outlets. In addition to the English broadcast, it is translated and re-dramatized in Spanish, Arabic, Russian, Romanian Polish, Korean and Japanese.

Scenes From The Bluest Eye

2008-07-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to view the screen adaptation of Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye at the Horizon Theatre in Little Five Points and absolutely loved it. The play brought to life the themes of racial self hatred, generational emotional issues, and the conditioning that causes the characters to believe that their way of life. The writings of Toni Morrison, as adapted by Lydia Diamond, continue to spark internalization about our own ideas about success, beauty, and the preconceived notions with regards to the formula for happiness. This stage play format allows the viewer to more directly connect with this story.

“The Bluest Eye” is an important story because it tells an all too familiar story about those who fall outside of the small box that is “American Culture.” Women, minorities, widows, homosexuals, divorces, and those with physical and mental disabilities—all those who are vulnerable to falling into the trap of believing, “You’re not beautiful; you’re not relevant; you’re invisible; you don’t even count”—Pecola tells their story. The play painfully follows the life of a family marred by pain, loss, rape, judgment, transitions, abuse, and the continuation of this cycle through a new generation of three young girls. Claudia, the narrator in her opening monologue [following a dramatic reading from a Dick & Jane Reader] explains, “Since why is difficult to handle, one must take refuge in how.” The play details the “how.” Morrison poignantly argues the manner in which our country has dealt with race, the way in which socioeconomic divisors have limited our reach, and the way in which the aforementioned have cause us to turn manifest our hurt on each other. Blacks rarely get the opportunity to identify the source of generational dysfunction, and to, in part, blame it on slavery, oppression, segregation, and disparity. Its interesting to see the level of pain the young ladies feel and how outward they are with their emotions, but their adults parents have the ability to be so introverted and callous—almost to as though they have accepted things are as good as they are supposed to be. The story is relevant for blacks and whites alike as it allows up to come to grips with our own insecurities and possibly understands what others deal with.

Each character in their own way is searching for love and identity, and to belong without conflict. There a connection between the white hunters' "rape" of Cholly and the sexual aggression he eventually turned on Pecola. Cholly was emasculated at a young age, finds himself in a marriage that is simply focused on the business of staying alive and “indoors.” The narrator describes the family as “ugly.” Interestingly enough “ugly” seems to represent anything that is undesirable or strays away from the accepted image of beauty. Rich is beautiful. White is beautiful. Like a dog who looses it’s mind after being caged in a pet store for too long, doomed to an existence of walking in circles and longing to be on the other sides of the glass, Cholly lost his life after that “rape.” His life was never the same again, and perhaps that was his last happy moment. When the activities of Pecola mimicked that of her mother, Cholly perhaps left his body for the moment and imagined he was again in that happy place. Like the hunters, Cholly was unresponsive to her pain, and acted with the understanding that he did so without the fear of consequences. Cholly was just a colored boy; Pecola is just a colored girl. Cholly and Pecola are both extremely tragic characters shaped by circumstances and the world around them but of the world they inhabit but do not control. The Bluest Eye is not about race and it is not about sexuality, but about unfortunate characters, dealing with these issues and how the world around them receives and affirms them.

The Breedloves move to the North along with six million other Southern black people, under the impression that there is greater level of tolerance in the North. Interestingly enough they were not seeking equality or wealth, just tolerance. They would find that the North was still America, although the racism was not as blatant and public, the doctrine of “separate but equal” remained a way of life. White dolls, “Dick and Jane” readers, Shirley Temple imagery, and Mary Jane candies reinforced these ideologies. The reinforced the idea that white was right, that white was beautiful and that one should look up to this. Pecola aspired to having blue eyes—to be white—because she deemed this the only escape from her circumstances. She perhaps came by these feelings of inadequacy naturally. Her mother lost sense of reality and used movies as her escape and to define beauty. “She was never able, after her education in the movies, to look at a face and not assign it some category in the scale of absolute beauty, and the scale was one she absorbed in full from the silver screen….” While unconscious, Mrs. Breedlove’s internal ideas about beauty are just as absorbed as her daughters belief that blue eyes could change all of the inequalities in their lives.

These characters’ lives are made that much worse because they all hate something about themselves. Even in idealized characters like Maureen Peal racial self-hatred manifest through her attempt to pass in order to appear superficially superior to her peers. The Bluest Eye highlights several internal conflicts that re still prevalent in the black community and ideas that are to relevant most. The notion that that lighter skin, straighter hair, and other androgynous Euro features are better and define beauty. Morrison and Diamond each challenge readers and viewers, respectivly, of this story to focus on more relevant things than stereotypical beauty such as integrity, love, and attributes that are constructive.

I encourange you to read The Bluest Eye if you have not and re-read it if you have not!

Check your local library or hit up amazon.com.

Toni Morrison Speaks about being a "Foreigner"

..::Listening to Lewis Allen's Strange Fruit as preformed by India.Arie:..

Acting Black: Vol. 1

2008-07-19T20:47:00.000-07:00

I saw the Color Purple fort he first time as a freshman at Morehouse College. I was the only one in the room that knew I was a virgin of sorts. I sat in a buddies room in DuBois Hall and to my surprise, they all knew every piece of dialogue, every song, every dance, and could anticipate every transition. A couple of times the gleeful gaze on my face almost gave me away. This world was all so new to me.

I finally told them the following week that this was my first viewing of the movie and everyone was literally horrified. Horrified. They asked what type of family I grew up in and if I was "really black." Funny how support of a movie, to some, translates to so much more on this quest for authentic blackness. Good thing for me that I had seen The Wiz, they'd likely have asked me to leave the institution otherwise.

...I was perhaps more perplexed that I was the only one in the room registered to vote. I've since read the original novel by Alice Walker and seen the play presented by Oprah Winfry and liked them a whole lot more.

Oprah Winfrey Presents The Color Purple

Why Should I Forgive You?

2008-07-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

I've always looked at forgiveness from the victims standpoint. You're wrong and then you're expected to be the bigger person who forgives and forgets and welcomes the wrong doer back with open arms. One who refuses to do this is immature, bitter, or accused of being too hard... and somehow the victim becomes the villain.

I recently had an experience where someone I cared deeply for pissed me off. Through my venting I aired much more about the situation and surrounding situations I should have repeated. As these things tend to always play out, wouldn't you know that that butt monkey repeated everything I said and the information ended up back with the person initially unbeknownst to me. I wondered why my calls weren't being returned and my text were being ignored only to find out, by accident, that this friend knew everything and hated me because of it. Rather than apologizing and accepting that I did wrong I got really self righteous and ending up getting all emotional and calling names. I made myself the victim.

They were through with me. I later apologized, and apologized, and apologized, and apologized, but my apologies were just words. Empty words. Sincerity means nothing to a brick wall. The realist thing a person can say often is the first thing that comes out of their mouth, not the retrospective thought or those "reactive recovery" statements. Forgiveness is not owed. Forgiveness cannot be requested or, lol demanded. Forgiveness does not even mean "we're good" or "let's start over." Unfortunately, often forgiveness can mean "I'm done." ...this is the other side of forgive and forget.

I never realised it but so many of us are afraid of real people. We steer clear of those who don't fit our carefully designed boxes and we watch those who slip through from time to time like security watches black people at Saks. We're afraid of character flaws and idiosyncrasies. It's so hard to look as a mistake as just that, a mistake. We look at mistakes as viruses that we want to get as far away from their infectious nature fearful of the idea that one will produce another and those will produce another and before you know it, you're thick as thieves before you can get away. Like a habit like nail biting or scratching you balls in public, you're stuck with them. We treat people like Oreck Vacuum Cleaners.. taking on relationships with the understanding that if you’re not completely satisfied products may be returned for a full refund in a postage paid box. Unfortunately people don't come with a no risk to guarantee. Tough love works.

India.Arie singing "Wings of Forgiveness" at the 2007 Pori Jazz Festival in Finland

CNN Presents: Black In America

2008-07-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

I just watch a really great series on CNN entitled Black In America host by Soledad O'Brien. Great stuff! If you missed it, check out the CNN's website and check listings for re-airs.

Black In America

About the show:

CNN Presents: Black in America continues with "The Black Woman & Family." Soledad O'Brien explores the varied experiences of black women and families and investigates the disturbing statistics of single parenthood, racial disparities between students and the devastating toll of HIV/AIDS. O'Brien reports on the progress of black women in the workplace and the status of the black middle class. Premieres in HDTV on Wednesday, July 23, 9 p.m. ET (from their website)

I was glad to have a bit of substance on TV for once. A brief break from reality television. More to come on my disdain with so called Reality TV.

What's In Your Wallet? Credit 4 Dummies

2008-07-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

Good Credit Matters. Overnight everything dependent upon credit to include adopting a child, securing and keeping employment, and buying necessities like a home, cars, and STUDENT LOANS.

No one knows the true formula for how credit score are devised but we all can deduce that your score gives a pretty good snapshot about the types of purchases and fiscal decisions we make. Getting a credit card or a car loan is no longer a reasonable indicator of "good credit." Ironically those with questionable credit are marketed to more aggressively then those with better credit because the latter tend to be a big more impulsive and give little consideration to "how am I gonna pay for all this." After all, these companies make their money from fees, charge offs, and finance charges.

Why is credit important?

Shelter

Your credit history tells a pretty apt story about your priorities and your ability to pay your bills on time. Lenders need to know that you won’t default on your mortgage. Assuming you make enough to afford the home of choice, bad credit is not necessarily the end of the conversation. Typically it creates higher cost of borrowing or worse, and possibly denial of conventional loans. Awareness of your spending practices should not start the month you enter the market for a home; lenders want to see a history of good stewardship. Your credit is also used for rental decisions as landlords consider lease period as a loan of sorts.

Transportation

Most buyers finance their vehicles. Credit not only qualifies you for a loan, but also the amount and interest rate of the loan. Lenders should look at a borrowers debt to income ratio. This is why living within your means is important!

Employment

Many employers conduct credit checks as a part of their hiring process. If you haven’t demonstrated financial responsibility, a prospective employer might be hesitant to hire you. For example, the employer might believe your level of debt is too high for the salary offered. Often those with serious debt are considered risk as they are more likely to steal or commit acts of
dishonesty to improve their quality of life.

Entrepreneurship

Many people have dreams of starting their own business. Most business start-ups require a sizable amount of seed assuming you don't, you’ll need to obtain a small business loan which is based upon your personal credit history.

Utility Services

It might be somewhat shocking to learn that your credit is needed to establish utility service. You're in essence borrowing water, Internet and electricity month by month. They look at your history to determine your likeliness to pay, pay on-time, and pay in full.

It's important to know your what the credit bureau's are reporting about you and be prepared to pay what you owe or dispute what is erroneous. Understand that ever after you resolve these issues, not only does it take time for your score to reflect it, we also have to change our thinking with regards to credit.

Bureau Contacts:

Equifax
P.O. Box 740241
Atlanta, GA 30374
1-800-685-1111

Experian
P.O. Box 2002
Allen, TX 75013
1-888-397-3742

TransUnion
P.O. Box 1000
Chester, PA 19022
1-800-888-4213

As I started looking at my credit reports I found that there were a number of line items on my report that I had nothing to do with. Some were from when I was in 5th grade! If you feel you've been a victim of identity theft or are being misrepresented, communicate this to the reporting bureau and then contact Fight Identity Theft.

"you's a hoe"

2008-07-17T18:09:00.000-07:00

As I meet new prospects I typically try to get to know them and then after a couple of dates we delve into what I have termed "compatibility questions." At my age, When I meet or date someone it's expected that they're either sexually active or that they've at least been with others. Nothing wrong with that. Things get grey when we start having those "how many?" and"have you ever?" and "would you ever?" type conversations. I guess my ego causes me to want to be the first for some odd reason.

I posed this question to a good buddy a couple months ago and at 30, he admitted that he has no Earthly idea how many people he's been with. I was so shocked. The wheels started turning in my head and I started recalling specific people, experiences, dates, and occasions and I said out loud, "OMG I'm a bitch, lol!" Sex is meaningful to me and not so much recreation. As disconcerting as this may sounds, the more I talk to young men and women the more I am seeing that my friend's having "no earthly idea" is eerily consistent with those polled.

I asked many of the same respondents to illustrate for me their idea of a "hoe." I got vivid descriptions of woman in fishnets, gigolos with Jheri Curls engaged in risky, and random sexual behavior completely void of connectedness. The scary thing was these descriptions were not far from many of our own stories. Risky, random, and void of connectedness. At least the hunky jocks on TV kept some type of count!

In an increasing liberal society, sex is just something else we do. Funny thing is there are so many people who work out, are vegans, and generally keep their body up not to live longer but to remain sexually appealing longer. We're all living stripper lives! ...Spending our days tanning and getting waxes and gym hoping daily to keep our butts firm and out abs pronounced. Sex is not... something to do when they were bored, something that can fill a void, or the obvious next step. We're coexisting with HIV & AIDS, Genital Warts, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, Chlamydia, Pubic Lice or Crabs, Venereal Disease, and Hepatitis to name a few and I am surprised that people are not more scared! I am obnoxiously preachy about health in the Black community those who know better need to help those who feel their invulnerable. Hey, you can lead a horse to water....

Maybe this' just me, but I think I'd get kinda bored after 100 sexual partners.. I'd love to hear thoughts on this.

This was not an abstinence/celibacy post or even an STD awareness post but I feel I would be remissed and irresponsible to write about promiscuity and not at least drop a little knowledge. For More Information on AIDS research, prevention practices, or assistance and support for those living with these ailments, visit Black AIDS Institute website.

ADTV's Naked Hustle Edition: The Golden Ticket

Consistently Noncommittal

2008-07-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to accept that marriage is not compatible with the lifestyle that many of us have chosen for ourselves. Growing up, I took pride in the fact that my parents were married and they were both in fact my parents. There was no crazy step mom and we weren't on step dad no. 3. Ironically, my lifestyle was mirrored by most in my personal circle. Funny how all of that has changed. All of my friends and neighbors started to divorce towards the end of the nineties. One by one and then two by two these marriages start to just drop off like bowling pins. First marriages, even second marriages.. relationships reduced to memories of the past and "girl let me tell you" stories. My family was not excluded. My parent divorced, my father remarried and the show continued.
When did relationships become so disposable? Spouses, friends, employees, churches... relationships I have just gotten so transient. I try to be a go with the flow kinda person I guess my biggest fault is that I cannot let go. I find my self being the "consummate compromiser." The proponent for kissing and making up. The devils advocate. ...self destructive if you ask me. A person wiser than I would realise that people don't want relationships; people want what they want, as they want it, until they don't want it anymore. During these years of living this adult life I am constantly amazed at how disposable relationships are despite the interconnectedness of those involved. We can get over a person and move on. Like serious move on. Funny stuff when you think about it...

Life, love and relationships all come down to choices.

Fidelity is a choice.

Honesty is a choice.

We make ourselves available for the things we want to be available for.

We know our weaknesses and choose to indulge them.

...relating requires a degree of adaptability.

Growth is interactive.

Jealousy is reassuring.

Love is gradual and not temporary.

9. They don't sell love at Target. I cannot make you whole.

Marriage is not obsolete, but monogamy very well may be. In the age of instant messenger, webcams, camera phones, and SUV's with tinted windows, it's so easy to be unfaithful and bids from new suitors are ever present. We've opted for right now pleasure in lieu of long term happiness. Relationships fail because we're not honest with ourselves about what we want. We get into these situations, are happy for a month and then play these roles until we simply get tired of the act or some other character is cast in our place. If you're looking for a cut buddy, why are you getting married? If you're looking for that absent father figure I don't think your girlfriend is going to do the job. Be honest about what you want.. you'd be surprised at the responses you get.

Us Against Us

2008-07-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

Vogue Magazine made history with their April 2008 issue featuring basketball player LaBron James and model Gisele Bunchen. James happens to be only the 3rd man to adorn the cover int he publication's 116 year history. If I was just reading a press release, would be exciting news. After seeing the images of the cover, I am horrified, outraged, confused and wondering why more people, black and white, aren't as well.

LaBron James is depicted in the same context as King Kong taking this white woman as his prize. The recreation of this image is no coincidence. Unfortunately, these international media conglomerates continue to walk the line with images like this and no one seems to care.
To liken a black man to a primate is simply reprehensible. I would be just as pissed if he was posed with Beyoncé Knowles, Gabrielle Union, or any other black personality. I've grown so tired of the way blacks are depicted in this hyper-sexual and animalistic light. How much blood money did he accept to sell out in this manner?

We can pretend but need to accept and confront the black image in the white mind. White men are threatened by the black male. These is this overarching perpetuation on all fronts that black men desires white women and they're trophies of sorts. They also see blacks as hyper-sexual, emotional, and our instincts primal, at best. In 2008, we're still seen as monkeys. The reality is that as upset as I am, LaBron James participated in the photo shoot saw that images before they went to print. If he objected, I'm sure he would have had some type of creative control. The reality is that didn't. LaBron James--idol to little black boys the world over--has decided that this imagery is acceptable.. or at least for the right price. It's so hard wanting more for people than they want for themselves.

Enduring The Monotony of Adult Life

2008-07-17T15:29:00.000-07:00

It seems like the time just flies.. one day the most important thing in your life is who will have the privilege of escorting you to homecoming and then all of the sudden adult life sets in. However gradual, our focus should shift from myspace and house parties to 401(k)'s and Life Insurance Policies. Somehow how this natural process has skipped over the "see me cities." Atlanta, Chicago, DC, New York.. to name a few seem to be full of Toy's R Us Kids who simply refuse to grow up. I recently read a blog a friend of mine wrote where he suggested 30 IS NOT THE NEW 20. People, it's not. I died laughing.. the need for trendiness and the unquenchable desire to be out and about. Growing up is not a death sentence, or the beginning of the end.. it's simply a seasonal shift.

I went to college with so many guys who experienced their peak well ahead of their time. The best years of their life were spend in college, in their early 20's and somehow they've decided they'll never let go. So they're okay being that 32 year old guy hanging out with 18 year olds.. that 40 year old walking around in public in his gold spray painted boots chanting "Que Psi Phi... There is a huge difference in nostalgia and love for ones Alma Mata and trying to hold on to what was. Accepting adulthood is about getting a job. It's about planning for tomorrow, and the next day, and 10 years after that. It's about accepting the monotony of getting up day in and day out, going to a job and doing the same task or function every day for 20 years and being okay with that. Boredom is not an option. Adults don't refer to slacks, hard bottomed shoes, and ties as "church cloths." They're worse things in life then ties. Adults cannot overdraw their checking accounts weekly or spend entire paychecks on jeans and spur of the moment trips to Vegas.

Over the years I've been though of as spoiled by friends and associates because I can call on the aide of my parents when I absolutely need them. Funny that these request are rare. While I'm an adult and have accepted adult life, things happen. I HATE calling them for help. Asking for help is often construed as an admission that I messed up.. that I failed to plan.. and that I haven't arrived. I am so glad that my parents are in a position to help. Realistically they could be calling me asking for money! When I'm a 30 something and a 40 something I want to be in a position to help people and not devoting all of my resources to having, fun and looking fly while looking to others to supplement my income and bail me out of my self inflicted poverty.

Ritalin® Saved My Life

2008-07-15T23:49:00.000-07:00

I just got done reading argument from some holistic vegan, grass eatin folks who claim that the pharmaceutical companies are evil and they are lessening out life expectancy. People need to be medicated. The kids are crazy. Heart meds, insulin for diabetics, Prozac for our crazy bosses, and Ritalin for bad ass kids is an absolute must. Period.

Ode To The Basketball Short

2008-07-15T20:01:00.000-07:00

I've live in Atlanta since 2002 but somehow I've not be able to adjust to the climate. I stop just short of saying I hate the weather. I have the heat, I hate the sunlight, I hate the bugs, etc, etc, etc. It seems like lately it's been 110° in the city. Most people can appreciate that, but I have pushed my thermostat as far over as it can go. This is that kind of heat where you never feel clean and you just itch. Yuck. I recently started drinking water and if I didn't love my dog, would not go outside until the sun went down.

This weather makes clothing a burden. There've been days where I seriously considered going to the Wendy's drive through in only a wife beater and socks, lol. That's when I discovered one of God's greatest creations: the basketball short. Who would have thought that shorts designed as athletic wear could replace pants in my life. I mean they're soo great. They're comfortably, easily washed, allow mini me to breath, and there is no requirement to match! I ran track and for those of you who have, you know that those shorts are not designed to wear ANYWHERE else. In two months I've probably bought 10 pairs. Perhaps I'll take up basketball, lol. BB shorts have defiantly made a friend in me. I would caution my readers.. whether these are a new discovery for you or if you're a long time wearer and have just been holding out.... I cannot stress this enough... please, please always wear appropriate undergarments! I get so tired of seeing young men while I'm out jogging and their stuff is just flopping all about like a metronome. God, be considerate. Your comfort should not cause people to run stop lights and push their grocery carts into walls for staring at you.

Realistic Happiness.

2008-07-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

I find myself having a number of conversations with people about the formula for happiness. What are the requirements for happiness? To be honest with you, I don't know. Happiness is so personal. It seems like happiness for most seems to center around money, stuff, and relationships. I said relationships, and not love that this was intentional.

Of all the people I know it seems like there are two categories.. those who work like crazy to have what they want or those who simply don't want to work. I know people who work 60 hour weeks so they can wear what they want, drive what they want, and impress those who you they want. The funny thing is, despite all that work, many of them are unhappy. They work like dogs to have a home, but it's not the house they wanted. They wanted a 5 Series BMW but somehow they were willing to settle for a 1995 3 Series. Rather than waiting on or working on true love, the settle for bedfellows and "interim" relationships because that true love ordeal isn't something that happens over night and defiantly can't be purchased. So after all of the overtime, all of the credit card debt, and all of the early mornings and sleepless nights, they hall all this stuff and yet remain unhappy. The folks that don't want to work somehow stunt and charm their way into everything they want and they too remain unhappy. I know uneducated, underemployed people who drive Mercedes Benz's but are unhappy because they have "the cheap" Benz. Someone please help me understand how anyone can form their lips and say "cheap Benz."

As cliche as this may sound, money does not by love or happiness. Shit, nor do good looks or great bodies for that matter. Crazy is cute and has great teeth! Happiness comes from fulfilling relationships with regular people. Happiness comes from living responsibly within one's means. Happiness comes from driving a 1998 Honda Accord in 2008 and being okay with that. I don't understand how a person can work 60 hours a week and at the close of their pay period every dime they make goes to a bill. I feel sorry for that guy who works all those hours and after paying all those bills can't even reasonably buy themselves a CD or go see a movie, or dare I say go on a vacation. Happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is being content with who, what, and where you are in life and hopeful about whatever God may have for you—good or bad.

..::Listening to The London Letters: Honestly by Tonéx::..