Consistently Noncommittal

I'm beginning to accept that marriage is not compatible with the lifestyle that many of us have chosen for ourselves. Growing up, I took pride in the fact that my parents were married and they were both in fact my parents. There was no crazy step mom and we weren't on step dad no. 3. Ironically, my lifestyle was mirrored by most in my personal circle. Funny how all of that has changed. All of my friends and neighbors started to divorce towards the end of the nineties. One by one and then two by two these marriages start to just drop off like bowling pins. First marriages, even second marriages.. relationships reduced to memories of the past and "girl let me tell you" stories. My family was not excluded. My parent divorced, my father remarried and the show continued.
When did relationships become so disposable? Spouses, friends, employees, churches... relationships I have just gotten so transient. I try to be a go with the flow kinda person I guess my biggest fault is that I cannot let go. I find my self being the "consummate compromiser." The proponent for kissing and making up. The devils advocate. ...self destructive if you ask me. A person wiser than I would realise that people don't want relationships; people want what they want, as they want it, until they don't want it anymore. During these years of living this adult life I am constantly amazed at how disposable relationships are despite the interconnectedness of those involved. We can get over a person and move on. Like serious move on. Funny stuff when you think about it...

Life, love and relationships all come down to choices.

1. Fidelity is a choice.


2. Honesty is a choice.


3. We make ourselves available for the things we want to be available for.


4. We know our weaknesses and choose to indulge them.


5. ...relating requires a degree of adaptability.


6. Growth is interactive.


7. Jealousy is reassuring.


8. Love is gradual and not temporary.

9. They don't sell love at Target. I cannot make you whole.

Marriage is not obsolete, but monogamy very well may be. In the age of instant messenger, webcams, camera phones, and SUV's with tinted windows, it's so easy to be unfaithful and bids from new suitors are ever present. We've opted for right now pleasure in lieu of long term happiness. Relationships fail because we're not honest with ourselves about what we want. We get into these situations, are happy for a month and then play these roles until we simply get tired of the act or some other character is cast in our place. If you're looking for a cut buddy, why are you getting married? If you're looking for that absent father figure I don't think your girlfriend is going to do the job. Be honest about what you want.. you'd be surprised at the responses you get.