Don't Get Stunted By Start Ups Companies

As some of you may know I recently lost my job and have joined the ranks of millions looking for employment. The uncertainty of being unemployed is frustrating enough without the added misplaced excitement from getting a hit from a BS Companies. There are so many of them online. They've infested Careerbuilder.com, Craigslist, etc. promising $70k a year to work from home, or "exciting, fast paced marketing jobs." Fucking BS. So I get a call yesterday from this company explaining that they have received my resume from Careerbuilder.com and wanted to bring me in for an interview for one of their "sales/marketing" positions. I kept asking her what company they were, what their core product was, and what specifically would I be doing. Her response to EVERY question was, "yeah, like we have great marketing opportunities... slots are filling up soon.. how about an 11am interview??" I was aware this was one of those companies but i said what the hell.. what do I have to loose? Well gas, an hour I will never get back, and I left my good pen on the chair in the waiting room.. bithes! It turned out to be a telemarketing company that At&T/Cingular subcontracts to stand in their stores and harass customers. Well since I was already there, I decided to play with the interviewer. I told her everything she wanted to hear, pretended to be excited, and started asking specifics about the company and my role as a marketing rep. She was so wet with every response I gave her that there was a puddle under the desk! After all that she asked me, "does this seem like something you'd be interested in?" My response was simply, "nope." She said, "great!" and then, "huh?" I said, "any marketing practitioner knows that marketing, sales, public relations, and advertising are all mutually exclusive disciplines." I then told her that I owe toooo much in student loans to be standing around trying to talk people into buying cell phone face plates, thank her for the time and let myself out. Bitch.

I have compiled a list of things that will let you know when you are dealing with one of these BS companies:

1. The hiring manager goes by the name "Beca" and looks 16. First of all, Beca's manage Dairy Queens in South Georgia.
2. The office building is in the middle of the hood but the entire staff is white.
3. The entire office is furnish an decorated compliments of your local IKEA store.
4. You show up to the interview in a new suit with your leather bound portfolio, resume printed on linen paper, and a fresh shave. Dontavious holds the door for you, as he's apparently there for the same interview.
5. You apply for any type of corporate position and they hold a group interview.
6. Sex and the City is playing on the TV in the waiting area.
7. The office looks like their perpetually in a state of relocation.
8. The interview posses the question, "How important is money to you, or "How competitive are you?"
9. Your interview confirmation email comes from marketing marketingjobs@yahoo.com.
10. Every single person in the office is there for an interview.

If you ever experience two or more of the above, don't ask, just run. This may save your life.