"you's a hoe"

As I meet new prospects I typically try to get to know them and then after a couple of dates we delve into what I have termed "compatibility questions." At my age, When I meet or date someone it's expected that they're either sexually active or that they've at least been with others. Nothing wrong with that. Things get grey when we start having those "how many?" and"have you ever?" and "would you ever?" type conversations. I guess my ego causes me to want to be the first for some odd reason.

I posed this question to a good buddy a couple months ago and at 30, he admitted that he has no Earthly idea how many people he's been with. I was so shocked. The wheels started turning in my head and I started recalling specific people, experiences, dates, and occasions and I said out loud, "OMG I'm a bitch, lol!" Sex is meaningful to me and not so much recreation. As disconcerting as this may sounds, the more I talk to young men and women the more I am seeing that my friend's having "no earthly idea" is eerily consistent with those polled.

I asked many of the same respondents to illustrate for me their idea of a "hoe." I got vivid descriptions of woman in fishnets, gigolos with Jheri Curls engaged in risky, and random sexual behavior completely void of connectedness. The scary thing was these descriptions were not far from many of our own stories. Risky, random, and void of connectedness. At least the hunky jocks on TV kept some type of count!

In an increasing liberal society, sex is just something else we do. Funny thing is there are so many people who work out, are vegans, and generally keep their body up not to live longer but to remain sexually appealing longer. We're all living stripper lives! ...Spending our days tanning and getting waxes and gym hoping daily to keep our butts firm and out abs pronounced. Sex is not... something to do when they were bored, something that can fill a void, or the obvious next step. We're coexisting with HIV & AIDS, Genital Warts, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, Chlamydia, Pubic Lice or Crabs, Venereal Disease, and Hepatitis to name a few and I am surprised that people are not more scared! I am obnoxiously preachy about health in the Black community those who know better need to help those who feel their invulnerable. Hey, you can lead a horse to water....

Maybe this' just me, but I think I'd get kinda bored after 100 sexual partners.. I'd love to hear thoughts on this.

This was not an abstinence/celibacy post or even an STD awareness post but I feel I would be remissed and irresponsible to write about promiscuity and not at least drop a little knowledge. For More Information on AIDS research, prevention practices, or assistance and support for those living with these ailments, visit Black AIDS Institute website.

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